Thursday, June 10, 2010

Guilt is a Vicious Girl

Okay, so obviously it isn't any secret that I don't care for my job much.  Unfortunately, on one level I do care what people think about me.  How are these two things related?

In my neverending quest to be away from work with a legitimate reason, you'll remember how desperate I was for my children to get the chicken pox.  They did. What that amounts to is less than 20 days worked since April 30th.  (This is partly due to forced holidays taken the first week of May due to child care issues). Couple that with an insanely busy workload and it spells trouble. So eventually, no matter how much I hate it there, I do feel responsible for my work and don't like having to leave it for others to do.

Last night my youngest was up a lot with fever and a cough; this morning I decided it best to keep him home since he was coughing to the point of nearly vomiting.  Then by 11 a.m. he was asking to go play outside.  Guilty conscience kicked in and I called my child care provider and asked if it'd be okay if I brought he and his brother.  She said yes so off to work I went. 

I have so much work to do I don't even know where to start.  Tomorrow should be a busy day and hopefully a productive one.  I do have some banked time to use so was planning on getting my hair done but am feeling guilty about that too.  It may not matter though as by 7 tonight, the little man's temperature was back up to just over 101 and he was in rough shape.  I gave him some Advil and it did perk him up but what will the night bring? Tomorrow morning?

I don't know...what I do know is if he is sick, and I have to stay home (and it's me who has paid sick leave so it's not really a viable option for Mr. Man to stay home), that bitch Guilt will have me feeling like an ass when I call in to work. 

I can't believe I'm actually hoping to be able to go to work tomorrow.  It's wrong on a number of levels. 

And on that note, he's awake, crying and coughing right now....

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