My family often accuses me of favouring my youngest child. Three year old Rhett. I previously wrote about how he may or may not have me wrapped around his finger. At times I have felt slightly guilty about this but today, I don't.
I don't because, bless his three year old little heart, he saw his brother was not going to comply with my never-ending quest to have a valid reason not to go to work and he promptly got the chicken pox. FOR A SECOND TIME.
How do I not give him a little extra snuggle for that? Or maybe even whisper sweet nothings about him being my favourite in his ear when no one else is around? He is putting his soft little toddler body through a second spell of itching and potential scarring just so I don't have to go to work. Or at least that's how I see it...
If you follow along and remember, he broke out with the pox Monday before last. Which meant I got to stay home from Tuesday to this Tuesday because of the long weekend. I went back to work two days ago and am home again today. He has sprouted three new solid pox and the beginnings of three others on his face. I love him so much. And with any luck at all, the six year old will still eventually get them.
That is, if he wants any of my love, he will.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Help Needed
As I become further immersed in the world of blogging one thing has become very clear. My title sucks. Not of the actual posts; if you ask me, some of those are quite clever. I'm referring to the actual blog title. I recently stumbled across one titled "Mommy Wants Vodka." Now why in the hell didn't I think of that? There is also "The Sassy Curmudgeon" and a whole host of clever catch-ily titled blogs out there.
"Searching" was originally chosen in an effort to reflect how this blog was a way of me looking for a way out of my job or maybe for a sliver of contentment in my life. Which I suppose it still is but still, I think I, or we, could come up with something better.
Thinking back the common themes of my blog are hating my job, loving and hating Vodka, and parenting. How should one combine all those? I suppose I could change it to "I Hate My Job and Drink Only to Cope". Not catchy or all-encompassing enough.
So friends and neighbours, any suggestions??? Throw any and all you got at me, because I'm completely drawing a blank.
Thanking you in advance for what I'm sure are going to be some kick ass ideas!
"Searching" was originally chosen in an effort to reflect how this blog was a way of me looking for a way out of my job or maybe for a sliver of contentment in my life. Which I suppose it still is but still, I think I, or we, could come up with something better.
Thinking back the common themes of my blog are hating my job, loving and hating Vodka, and parenting. How should one combine all those? I suppose I could change it to "I Hate My Job and Drink Only to Cope". Not catchy or all-encompassing enough.
So friends and neighbours, any suggestions??? Throw any and all you got at me, because I'm completely drawing a blank.
Thanking you in advance for what I'm sure are going to be some kick ass ideas!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Out of Ideas
I want to write about something but am drawing a blank. Maybe I'm slightly distracted by my normally reserved daughter's gyrations to the Glee soundtrack in the kitchen. Maybe I'm too tired. Maybe I've run out of things to say. That's really unlikely though.
My husband wants to go out tonight. We've talked about taking in a movie. Do you people know what time a late show starts these days? Freakin' 10:15. I'm not really comfortable falling asleep in the theatre. Don't get me wrong, I've done it before and so would like to avoid it. Actually I wouldn't have minded falling asleep during 'Inglorious Basterds' but the theatre was freezing so no such luck.
He also suggested drinking. I'm not really in the mood for that either. I'm tired. My three year old must have just won a Guinness World Record award this week for the child with the most energy in the history of the world while 'down' with the chicken pox. I'm afraid I'd have one drink and nod off.
He though, had a very stressful week as he is working for the real-life equivalent of, well I want to say Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond but I'm not really sure that encapsulates it. Ryan really is patient by nature but this woman has put him over the edge. She gave him food and he THREW IT AWAY. He does not throw food away. Ever. He really does not like her and having met her myself and having her ask me my name three times within seven minutes, I can't say I'm a fan either. She then decided she'd remember my name, Angela, by associating it with 'angel' as in and she said: "Ryan's wife is an angel. Angela." Okay then, I guess I'll remember her name with the following: 'Marilyn is a moron'. I think if Marilyn could've read my mind the other day, that is if she isn't illiterate, and believe me I have my suspicions, she'd have a whole other word association with which to remember me by.
Gotta go, time to Busta' Move.
My husband wants to go out tonight. We've talked about taking in a movie. Do you people know what time a late show starts these days? Freakin' 10:15. I'm not really comfortable falling asleep in the theatre. Don't get me wrong, I've done it before and so would like to avoid it. Actually I wouldn't have minded falling asleep during 'Inglorious Basterds' but the theatre was freezing so no such luck.
He also suggested drinking. I'm not really in the mood for that either. I'm tired. My three year old must have just won a Guinness World Record award this week for the child with the most energy in the history of the world while 'down' with the chicken pox. I'm afraid I'd have one drink and nod off.
He though, had a very stressful week as he is working for the real-life equivalent of, well I want to say Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond but I'm not really sure that encapsulates it. Ryan really is patient by nature but this woman has put him over the edge. She gave him food and he THREW IT AWAY. He does not throw food away. Ever. He really does not like her and having met her myself and having her ask me my name three times within seven minutes, I can't say I'm a fan either. She then decided she'd remember my name, Angela, by associating it with 'angel' as in and she said: "Ryan's wife is an angel. Angela." Okay then, I guess I'll remember her name with the following: 'Marilyn is a moron'. I think if Marilyn could've read my mind the other day, that is if she isn't illiterate, and believe me I have my suspicions, she'd have a whole other word association with which to remember me by.
Gotta go, time to Busta' Move.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Critic's Choice
I don't get it. I am currently reading a book that won the 'Man Booker Prize' in 2007. I don't even know what that is but when a book has won an award, any award, one assumes it is a good book. What I have found, more often than not, is these award winning books seldom make me smile. They are dark books full of dark wordy imagery. I don't overly enjoy these books. So why am I reading it? I have a strict rule, made for myself by myself, to finish every book I start no matter how much I dislike it. So there, I'm obligated. Plus, in this instance, I'm waiting for the author to just get to the point already. I'm waiting for the climax, one would say. However, like many women, I just don't think I'm going to get there. At least in this instance.
It's called 'The Gathering' by Anne Enright and is about a large Irish family. So far the biggest thrill of this book has been the cultural references and language. I enjoy that no matter what. 'Angela's Ashes' was also about a large Irish family but it was entertaining despite the dark theme of it all. This book also has a dark thematic element but is also convoluted and aimless.
Maybe it's me. I consider myself an intelligent person. I also enjoy being entertained but what seems to be the common cultural perception is the darker or worse or more confused one feels after reading a book or watching a movie, the more critically acclaimed it is. Why do we have to feel unhappy or disconcerted after seeking out entertainment? I suppose thought provoke-ment is a positive thing but really, and this maybe attributed to the work I do, I don't want to think that hard while being entertained. I want to laugh and feel good upon completion. After watching the movie 'Monster' with Charlize Theron a few years back I was angry and wanted to cry. So yes, excellent acting and story but I did not feel good or entertained. I cannot tell you how many times I've watched 'Anchorman' with Will Ferrell. It did not win any awards. I always feel good and highly entertained after watching. Also good acting.
I love lamp.
Okay, maybe it is me.
Stay Classy San Diego (which I believe means "whale's vagina").
It's called 'The Gathering' by Anne Enright and is about a large Irish family. So far the biggest thrill of this book has been the cultural references and language. I enjoy that no matter what. 'Angela's Ashes' was also about a large Irish family but it was entertaining despite the dark theme of it all. This book also has a dark thematic element but is also convoluted and aimless.
Maybe it's me. I consider myself an intelligent person. I also enjoy being entertained but what seems to be the common cultural perception is the darker or worse or more confused one feels after reading a book or watching a movie, the more critically acclaimed it is. Why do we have to feel unhappy or disconcerted after seeking out entertainment? I suppose thought provoke-ment is a positive thing but really, and this maybe attributed to the work I do, I don't want to think that hard while being entertained. I want to laugh and feel good upon completion. After watching the movie 'Monster' with Charlize Theron a few years back I was angry and wanted to cry. So yes, excellent acting and story but I did not feel good or entertained. I cannot tell you how many times I've watched 'Anchorman' with Will Ferrell. It did not win any awards. I always feel good and highly entertained after watching. Also good acting.
I love lamp.
Okay, maybe it is me.
Stay Classy San Diego (which I believe means "whale's vagina").
Cheated
Remember how Rhett the 3 year old has chicken pox and yesterday he was extra cuddly? Well he still has chicken pox but is slightly less cuddly. In fact you can hardly tell he's sick. At this very minute he's doing laps around the house.
Um, I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the benefits of a sick child but they are supposed to have less energy and be quiet pathetic little souls who watch movies on the couch and ask for juice. Instead my child is attempting to re-enact Avatar.
He got up at 5 a.m. today. At 12:30 p.m. he announced he was ready to sleep and did so for two hours, thank Jebus. I had a nap too followed by the rapid succession inhaling of a chocolate pudding and chocolate covered granola bar but I'm still bitchy. I need to keep a stash of actual chocolate hidden in my house for just such occasions. However, much as with cookies, if I know it's here, it's not hidden and it's gone.
Sigh. Anyway, I am mature and good enough of a mother to appreciate the fact that my little boy is not suffering. I just want him slowed down a little. Is that too much to ask?
I think not.
Um, I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the benefits of a sick child but they are supposed to have less energy and be quiet pathetic little souls who watch movies on the couch and ask for juice. Instead my child is attempting to re-enact Avatar.
He got up at 5 a.m. today. At 12:30 p.m. he announced he was ready to sleep and did so for two hours, thank Jebus. I had a nap too followed by the rapid succession inhaling of a chocolate pudding and chocolate covered granola bar but I'm still bitchy. I need to keep a stash of actual chocolate hidden in my house for just such occasions. However, much as with cookies, if I know it's here, it's not hidden and it's gone.
Sigh. Anyway, I am mature and good enough of a mother to appreciate the fact that my little boy is not suffering. I just want him slowed down a little. Is that too much to ask?
I think not.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Play-Doh, Power Rangers & the Pox
So yes, he officially has the chicken pox. I am not at work. I am wearing the coveted elastic-waisted pant. I tried to monopolize the Play-Doh play this morning. No, I'm not kidding.
See it was just Rhett's birthday and he got a Play-Doh set for making hamburgers, fries, etc. He wanted to play with it this morning and so I joined him in a little creativity. Is it wrong that I really like the smell of Play-Doh? Also, is it wrong if you are not good at taking turns with your three year old and may be just as excited as he is at the prospect of making Play-Doh french fries? I don't think so. Well, maybe it's okay to like the smell but in hindsight I probably could've let him make his fries before I finished mine. Also because of the crazy Type 'A'-ness of my being I had to make my fries out of the yellow Play-Doh and shuddered when he wanted to make brown fries.
Yes I'm aware I have issues.
Anyway, so far so good. He's got maybe six or seven pox at present and he's a little warm. Runny nose and cough and extra-cuddly. For those of you who are wondering just what my damage is in regards to him getting the chicken pox, it's really more about him than me. Yes I like having a valid reason to stay home from work but the younger these little people get the chicken pox, the less they suffer during.
That being said, I took a special delight in calling in and informing my supervisor I would not be in for likely the remainder of the week and really wasn't overly upset when Rhett got up at 6:10 a.m. Why? Well number one, he's not feeling well and number two, I didn't have to go to work. That never gets old.
Never.
See it was just Rhett's birthday and he got a Play-Doh set for making hamburgers, fries, etc. He wanted to play with it this morning and so I joined him in a little creativity. Is it wrong that I really like the smell of Play-Doh? Also, is it wrong if you are not good at taking turns with your three year old and may be just as excited as he is at the prospect of making Play-Doh french fries? I don't think so. Well, maybe it's okay to like the smell but in hindsight I probably could've let him make his fries before I finished mine. Also because of the crazy Type 'A'-ness of my being I had to make my fries out of the yellow Play-Doh and shuddered when he wanted to make brown fries.
Yes I'm aware I have issues.
Anyway, so far so good. He's got maybe six or seven pox at present and he's a little warm. Runny nose and cough and extra-cuddly. For those of you who are wondering just what my damage is in regards to him getting the chicken pox, it's really more about him than me. Yes I like having a valid reason to stay home from work but the younger these little people get the chicken pox, the less they suffer during.
That being said, I took a special delight in calling in and informing my supervisor I would not be in for likely the remainder of the week and really wasn't overly upset when Rhett got up at 6:10 a.m. Why? Well number one, he's not feeling well and number two, I didn't have to go to work. That never gets old.
Never.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Mission Accomplished!
You know I was quite pleased with this title to begin with, then when I realized it encompasses more than one thing, I was doubly pleased.
Mission #1: Steven getting his license.
Accomplished: Today!! Yee haw. No more carting that guy back and forth to work, or otherwise. No more driving with him with jaw clenched praying to Jebus he doesn't take off my side mirror on a parked car. Don't get me wrong, he's a good driver, but my vehicle is considerably nicer than his....I have now decided my second least favourite parenting job (#1 being toilet training) is Driver Training. The actual driving is tense and waiting for them while they go for their test is a special kind of torture of it's own. This was the poor kid's third run through and if he didn't get it today I was prepared to do the 'Bend & Snap' a la Legally Blonde if need be. Not sure that would've changed anyone's minds but maybe they'd have felt pity for the poor kid? In any event, it was unnecessary.
Mission #2: Acquiring the Chicken Pox
Accomplished: Today!! Rhett climbed into bed with us this morning and I saw a slightly suspicious looking mark on his arm but mosquitoes are already out so I thought maybe that was all it was. Well, now tonight, his nose his running like a mother-trucker, he is slightly warm and has four or five more spots. Chicken Pox is in the hoouuse!!
Part of me is slightly concerned as I am very busy at work and getting more behind by the minute and then the other 97.8% of me is thinking 'Woo Hoo!'. I will regret it when I go back next week and am swamped but whatevs. Right now I could care less. Right now I want to eat chocolate. Right now I'm wearing a nice elastic-waisted pant and fantasizing about wearing such pants all week. And not going to work. Not trying to remain professional while talking to some of the stupidest most ignorant people I have met (clients and co-workers alike) all day.
So people, for a Monday, in the end, it wasn't too shabby at all. The pets helped me keep it real as I did get to clean up some cat puke. Oh and for those of you concerned at my apparent lack of empathy as to the well being of my poor little three year old who'll soon be very itchy; back off, I'm not the one who had his brother licking his mouth when all was said and done in an effort to ensure he gets the chicken pox too. Okay, so Ryan didn't tell Reese to do that, but Reese got carried up in the moment of our family glee in the pox discovery and licked Rhett's mouth...gross, I know. I honestly believe it would never cross a little girl's mind to do such a thing. However 13 year old boys don't make each other's lives miserable just for sport, so it's a fair trade.
Good Night. Expect a full Chicken Pox (pock?) update in the morning. God willing, he'll be covered...
Mission #1: Steven getting his license.
Accomplished: Today!! Yee haw. No more carting that guy back and forth to work, or otherwise. No more driving with him with jaw clenched praying to Jebus he doesn't take off my side mirror on a parked car. Don't get me wrong, he's a good driver, but my vehicle is considerably nicer than his....I have now decided my second least favourite parenting job (#1 being toilet training) is Driver Training. The actual driving is tense and waiting for them while they go for their test is a special kind of torture of it's own. This was the poor kid's third run through and if he didn't get it today I was prepared to do the 'Bend & Snap' a la Legally Blonde if need be. Not sure that would've changed anyone's minds but maybe they'd have felt pity for the poor kid? In any event, it was unnecessary.
Mission #2: Acquiring the Chicken Pox
Accomplished: Today!! Rhett climbed into bed with us this morning and I saw a slightly suspicious looking mark on his arm but mosquitoes are already out so I thought maybe that was all it was. Well, now tonight, his nose his running like a mother-trucker, he is slightly warm and has four or five more spots. Chicken Pox is in the hoouuse!!
Part of me is slightly concerned as I am very busy at work and getting more behind by the minute and then the other 97.8% of me is thinking 'Woo Hoo!'. I will regret it when I go back next week and am swamped but whatevs. Right now I could care less. Right now I want to eat chocolate. Right now I'm wearing a nice elastic-waisted pant and fantasizing about wearing such pants all week. And not going to work. Not trying to remain professional while talking to some of the stupidest most ignorant people I have met (clients and co-workers alike) all day.
So people, for a Monday, in the end, it wasn't too shabby at all. The pets helped me keep it real as I did get to clean up some cat puke. Oh and for those of you concerned at my apparent lack of empathy as to the well being of my poor little three year old who'll soon be very itchy; back off, I'm not the one who had his brother licking his mouth when all was said and done in an effort to ensure he gets the chicken pox too. Okay, so Ryan didn't tell Reese to do that, but Reese got carried up in the moment of our family glee in the pox discovery and licked Rhett's mouth...gross, I know. I honestly believe it would never cross a little girl's mind to do such a thing. However 13 year old boys don't make each other's lives miserable just for sport, so it's a fair trade.
Good Night. Expect a full Chicken Pox (pock?) update in the morning. God willing, he'll be covered...
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Obligated
Like most people I know I have been eagerly awaiting summer's arrival. Well, today it's kind of here. Don't get me wrong, it pleases me but right now I'm outside surrounded by my family and getting increasingly irritated by the moment.
We have the paddling pool set up; we've tried out the new Buzz Lightyear sprinkler, ate lunch outside and really, right now, I'm just anticipating the dryer being finished so I have a reason to go inside. My 16 year old is singing One Winged Dove; Reese wants a Rice Krispie square, the cat's trying to drink my pop, and the other two children are having a bubble war.
Serenity now!
I want to watch TV.
Okay, I posted this and then realized the title doesn't make any sense as is. It is nice out. Where I live these days are so far and few between we are supposed to and need to embrace every last one. For now though, I've had about all the outside family fun I can take. And we are still going to barbecue.
I am the worst mother in the world? It's Sunday. Day of family togetherness. Yet I am done with togetherness and ready for a nap. And maybe some cake. Mostly I am ready for quiet.
I escaped into the house and now they are all following me. Steven continues to do his best rendition of Stevie Nicks...
Maybe what I really need is a drink? Oh joy, the dryer just buzzed, sweet escape.
We have the paddling pool set up; we've tried out the new Buzz Lightyear sprinkler, ate lunch outside and really, right now, I'm just anticipating the dryer being finished so I have a reason to go inside. My 16 year old is singing One Winged Dove; Reese wants a Rice Krispie square, the cat's trying to drink my pop, and the other two children are having a bubble war.
Serenity now!
I want to watch TV.
Okay, I posted this and then realized the title doesn't make any sense as is. It is nice out. Where I live these days are so far and few between we are supposed to and need to embrace every last one. For now though, I've had about all the outside family fun I can take. And we are still going to barbecue.
I am the worst mother in the world? It's Sunday. Day of family togetherness. Yet I am done with togetherness and ready for a nap. And maybe some cake. Mostly I am ready for quiet.
I escaped into the house and now they are all following me. Steven continues to do his best rendition of Stevie Nicks...
Maybe what I really need is a drink? Oh joy, the dryer just buzzed, sweet escape.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Claire Huxtable can go Screw Herself
Why, you ask, am I hating on the ever-lovely Mrs. Huxtable? Because Claire, despite having five children and what always appeared to be a very busy legal career, always had a spotless home. Yet you never saw Claire in sweat pants bent over the tub scrubbing or better yet on her hands and knees cleaning around the base of her toilet. Maybe it's because there was only Bill and Theo but I'm sure even they missed sometimes. Or maybe she made them sit down, I don't know. Either way, it's all LIES. They didn't have a cleaning lady. In one episode Claire wore a bigger button down shirt and was dusting their already spotless bedroom. Sometimes Cliff did the dishes. But did the Huxtable kids ever leave bowls of watermelon rinds in the living room? No sirree!
You know who I liked, Roseanne. Roseanne's house was a little more the real deal. Sometimes it was shown messy. Sometimes Dan and Roseanne fought about who should do what around the house. Dan and Roseanne's kids yelled back at them. Wait, to clarify, in the pilot episode of The Cosby Show, the house was somewhat untidy. And that was it. Roseanne's house was untidy on more than one occasion and Roseanne wore sweatpants. I will always bond with a woman in sweat pants.
So why am I fixating on popular TV shows of the '80s? Because there is a current war raging in my household over chores. I can't take it anymore. I would like to say I give up and just live in filth but really, who really wants to do that. I have a hard time relaxing if it's dirty. Don't get me wrong, at any given time, there is at least one or two (six) rooms that are not fit for humans. There are six of us and three pets. Get a cleaning lady you say? I just might. However it's not going to solve the day to day issues of who does what. And you know what, I almost don't care anymore. Maybe if the bathrooms, kitchen and floors are clean I will be able to just suck it up and deal with it. Maybe.
In the meantime, Apocalypse Now took place in my kitchen/dining room last night and I'd like to thank the neighbours for not calling the police.
And I'd like to thank the Huxtables for not only portraying an African-American family in a positive light but also setting unrealistic and potentially unreachable goals for mother's everywhere.
Assholes.
You know who I liked, Roseanne. Roseanne's house was a little more the real deal. Sometimes it was shown messy. Sometimes Dan and Roseanne fought about who should do what around the house. Dan and Roseanne's kids yelled back at them. Wait, to clarify, in the pilot episode of The Cosby Show, the house was somewhat untidy. And that was it. Roseanne's house was untidy on more than one occasion and Roseanne wore sweatpants. I will always bond with a woman in sweat pants.
So why am I fixating on popular TV shows of the '80s? Because there is a current war raging in my household over chores. I can't take it anymore. I would like to say I give up and just live in filth but really, who really wants to do that. I have a hard time relaxing if it's dirty. Don't get me wrong, at any given time, there is at least one or two (six) rooms that are not fit for humans. There are six of us and three pets. Get a cleaning lady you say? I just might. However it's not going to solve the day to day issues of who does what. And you know what, I almost don't care anymore. Maybe if the bathrooms, kitchen and floors are clean I will be able to just suck it up and deal with it. Maybe.
In the meantime, Apocalypse Now took place in my kitchen/dining room last night and I'd like to thank the neighbours for not calling the police.
And I'd like to thank the Huxtables for not only portraying an African-American family in a positive light but also setting unrealistic and potentially unreachable goals for mother's everywhere.
Assholes.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Changes
This is just a super quick post to let people know I believe I may have solved the issue with people not being able to comment on my blog. Please give it a whirl again, when the mood strikes, and let me know how it works out for you.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Plain Jane
So what with the fancy new laptop and all I am spending more time on line. What I am learning is my blog is beyond basic. What I also learned is apparently my comments on other blogs are not up to snuff. I tried to comment on Sassy Curmudgeon's blog and it doesn't appear she approved it. It was a funny little comment plus I said I liked her blog. I call that bitchy, not 'Sassy'.
However, through her blog I found another one I liked but lost it again but she wrote one about being on Cymbalta and therefore not being able to drink beer as well as she used to. I personally find my Vodka tales more entertaining but that being said, hers was good. The thing is, both of these woman have all kinds of stuff all over their blogs. Apparently there are blog awards, there are all kinds of blogging networks and societies. And I need to either hone in on this stuff or just write a damn book already because as much as I continue to amuse my mother, she is not going to pay me to do this which is the ultimate goal.
Why can't I just enjoy writing for the sake of writing? Because today a client gave me shit for taking last week off of work. I don't need that.
For now, it's off to bed. Rest up because I forsee many hours ahead spent on jazzing this blog up. That's right, I said it, I'm all about the jazz.
I'm also all about Glee and an inappropriate Cougar crush on Finn when he sang Jesse's Girl. Don't be a hater and judge me. Or do, and comment on my blog. Guess what? No matter how mean it is, I'll approve it. That's how I roll and that, I think, is pretty darn Sassy.
However, through her blog I found another one I liked but lost it again but she wrote one about being on Cymbalta and therefore not being able to drink beer as well as she used to. I personally find my Vodka tales more entertaining but that being said, hers was good. The thing is, both of these woman have all kinds of stuff all over their blogs. Apparently there are blog awards, there are all kinds of blogging networks and societies. And I need to either hone in on this stuff or just write a damn book already because as much as I continue to amuse my mother, she is not going to pay me to do this which is the ultimate goal.
Why can't I just enjoy writing for the sake of writing? Because today a client gave me shit for taking last week off of work. I don't need that.
For now, it's off to bed. Rest up because I forsee many hours ahead spent on jazzing this blog up. That's right, I said it, I'm all about the jazz.
I'm also all about Glee and an inappropriate Cougar crush on Finn when he sang Jesse's Girl. Don't be a hater and judge me. Or do, and comment on my blog. Guess what? No matter how mean it is, I'll approve it. That's how I roll and that, I think, is pretty darn Sassy.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
World's Most Beautiful
So who else bought the Beautiful People issue of People? You know, the one with Sandra Bullock and her cute baby on the cover? I did. I like Sandra Bullock and I like looking at pretty people. What I soon found out is I do not care for everything pretty people say. Not that I would expect them to appreciate all of my musings but seriously, give people a shred more credit. Case in point: Beside a very pretty, some, like People for instance, would say she's beautiful and I would not disagree, Carrie Underwood states she feels beautiful giving herself to others like when she's raising money for a worthy cause. Hmm, that's great Carrie but I do believe that has more to do with self-esteem than feeling pretty. Carrie's picture shows her with a pretty white dress on and hair styled, make-up on and teeth whitened. Again, to be clear, not discrediting Ms. Underwood for any of that as it's within context and if I looked like her and had her means I would do the same. But in keeping with context let's save the feel good statements for another day.
Worse though is Megan Fox's statement. Megan, who barely resembles the Megan Fox in the first Transformers movie. Ms. Fox states, through her 'enhanced' pout: "My idea of beauty is self-acceptance." Hm. Is that why you have implants, a spray tan and what appears to be an allergic reaction?
Take a look at the below picture:
Here, with make-up on, I'm all about self acceptance, minus the plastic surgery, a la Ms. Fox. And to all those boys out there who say a woman looks better with little to no make-up, take a look at the above photos and think again. Granted, some woman are fortunate enough to pull off the naked face look. I am not. I'm not one of those who refuses to leave the house without make-up but always feel more confident with it on. I don't think there's anything wrong with this although some would argue it speaks to a level of insecurity or socialization, and maybe that's so but you will have to pry my eyelash curler out of my cold dead hands.
Some of you will think I'm being hard on Carrie but if you have the issue or have looked at it, 99.9% of the players in this year's world's beautiful people list are what would be considered as conventionally attractive. With the exception of Gabourey Sidibe. It is very rare that Hollywood accepts a woman who is not a size 2. Congratulations Ms. Sidibe!
Worse though is Megan Fox's statement. Megan, who barely resembles the Megan Fox in the first Transformers movie. Ms. Fox states, through her 'enhanced' pout: "My idea of beauty is self-acceptance." Hm. Is that why you have implants, a spray tan and what appears to be an allergic reaction?
Take a look at the below picture:
Now, were I to help all the hungry children of the world, looking like this, I would feel good about myself but not beautiful. Clearly.
Exhibit 'B'
Here, with make-up on, I'm all about self acceptance, minus the plastic surgery, a la Ms. Fox. And to all those boys out there who say a woman looks better with little to no make-up, take a look at the above photos and think again. Granted, some woman are fortunate enough to pull off the naked face look. I am not. I'm not one of those who refuses to leave the house without make-up but always feel more confident with it on. I don't think there's anything wrong with this although some would argue it speaks to a level of insecurity or socialization, and maybe that's so but you will have to pry my eyelash curler out of my cold dead hands.
Some of you will think I'm being hard on Carrie but if you have the issue or have looked at it, 99.9% of the players in this year's world's beautiful people list are what would be considered as conventionally attractive. With the exception of Gabourey Sidibe. It is very rare that Hollywood accepts a woman who is not a size 2. Congratulations Ms. Sidibe!
Happy Mother's Day-Part II
I think by now you all know, that at times, I have somewhat of a short fuse. I have been this way as long as I can remember. It hasn't necessarily always brought out the best in me and today I had an epiphany in regards to a specific event which I believe means I owe my sister-in-law an apology.
Cut to approximately February or March 2007. I was quite pregnant with Rhett, who was born in May. My sister-in-law, Crystal, had just had her son, Daniel, in December 2006. We were having a baby shower for her. The day of the shower, where I was to organize games my Grandma showed up and wanted to go for supper. This was going to be slightly rushed but I couldn't nor did I want to turn Grandma down. Then my husband got called to work which meant either taking my then three year old with me to the shower but instead my Grandma offered to babysit so off we went. I should add my Grandma will be 87 this year so was almost 83 at the time.
So we visited and played games and ate food and then it was time to open gifts. I swear to God, my level of patience had sunk to an all time low. It seemed as though Crystal was waiting for the gifts to unwrap themselves. Was it fair of me to be impatient? No. Want to know what was less fair? Getting up, storming across the room and 'assisting' her with one gift in particular. By assisting I mean ripping the paper off the back of the box and returning to my seat. To the credit of the other guests they didn't say much. Maybe some nervous laughter and one girl, who was also pregnant but not inclined to commit gift opening abuse, asked if I tended to be impatient when pregnant. I do believe actions spoke for themselves. It wasn't until I was re-telling this story that I realized how assinine that was. So for that, I'm sorry Crystal.
Now some of you math wizards out there have figured out this happened more than four years ago so why apologize now? Well because I had my own slow-motion gift opening experience this morning. My wonderful husband presented me with a laptop this morning!! They (him and the kids) had put it in a gift bag of sorts and I had an inkling I was maybe getting one and so I wanted to savour every moment. Finally one of my older two kids told me to hurry up and open it. I didn't want to. I was so excited and so really wanted to enjoy this moment. And then it dawned on me, she was enjoying her moment and I, uber-bitch, rained or perhaps maybe even stormed, on her parade. Again, I apologize.
As for me, I am loving this laptop. Sitting at my dining room table writing and web surfing is only about a million times more enjoyable then sitting in my basement which smells like dog and looks like a Toys R Us gone wrong.
So Thanks to my husband, Ryan, for giving me one of the best Mother's Day presents EVER. And thanks, to his sister, Crystal, for not decking me that fateful night four years ago!
Cut to approximately February or March 2007. I was quite pregnant with Rhett, who was born in May. My sister-in-law, Crystal, had just had her son, Daniel, in December 2006. We were having a baby shower for her. The day of the shower, where I was to organize games my Grandma showed up and wanted to go for supper. This was going to be slightly rushed but I couldn't nor did I want to turn Grandma down. Then my husband got called to work which meant either taking my then three year old with me to the shower but instead my Grandma offered to babysit so off we went. I should add my Grandma will be 87 this year so was almost 83 at the time.
So we visited and played games and ate food and then it was time to open gifts. I swear to God, my level of patience had sunk to an all time low. It seemed as though Crystal was waiting for the gifts to unwrap themselves. Was it fair of me to be impatient? No. Want to know what was less fair? Getting up, storming across the room and 'assisting' her with one gift in particular. By assisting I mean ripping the paper off the back of the box and returning to my seat. To the credit of the other guests they didn't say much. Maybe some nervous laughter and one girl, who was also pregnant but not inclined to commit gift opening abuse, asked if I tended to be impatient when pregnant. I do believe actions spoke for themselves. It wasn't until I was re-telling this story that I realized how assinine that was. So for that, I'm sorry Crystal.
Now some of you math wizards out there have figured out this happened more than four years ago so why apologize now? Well because I had my own slow-motion gift opening experience this morning. My wonderful husband presented me with a laptop this morning!! They (him and the kids) had put it in a gift bag of sorts and I had an inkling I was maybe getting one and so I wanted to savour every moment. Finally one of my older two kids told me to hurry up and open it. I didn't want to. I was so excited and so really wanted to enjoy this moment. And then it dawned on me, she was enjoying her moment and I, uber-bitch, rained or perhaps maybe even stormed, on her parade. Again, I apologize.
As for me, I am loving this laptop. Sitting at my dining room table writing and web surfing is only about a million times more enjoyable then sitting in my basement which smells like dog and looks like a Toys R Us gone wrong.
So Thanks to my husband, Ryan, for giving me one of the best Mother's Day presents EVER. And thanks, to his sister, Crystal, for not decking me that fateful night four years ago!
Happy Mother's Day-Part I
Happy Mother's Day one and all! I myself am the very fortunate mother of four great kids! Steven is 16, Justine is 13, Reese is 6 and Rhett is going to be 3 in five short days. I am lucky enough to not only love my children but I really like them too. Some of you are thinking that goes without saying, but I don't think it does.
I've been every kind of mother there is, almost. At least for only being 33. I've been an unwed teen mother, a wed teen mother, a divorced single mother, and now a married mother of four. Quite a gamut if you ask me. Each of those stages of my life had it's ups and downs. Being a teen mother meant that I was judged non-stop by any and all who encountered me. However it also afforded me a beautiful son and the knowledge that no matter what those people thought or said about me or to me, we are more than okay.
Being married the second time I gave birth allowed me respect by hospital staff. The nurses no longer felt the need to treat me like something they found on the bottom of their shoe. That's directed at the Quasi Modo nurse who screamed at me when I was in with Steven. Fucking hunchback bitch. He'll let me know when he's hungry. The kid was nearly 14 1/2 pounds by 2 1/2 months old. Not starving. Anyway, it also gave me the opportunity to be the mommy of a little girl! Yee haw! Dresses and hair-dos. And now a shopping partner, chick movie pal and emotional equivalent of TNT. She never ceases to amaze me though.
Being a single mom was hard, no doubt, but I also didn't have to share them either. Selfish, yes; sorry? No. They were all mine. Sure they went and visited their dad but ultimately they were mine. This didn't necessarily bode well when my now husband came into the mix. He often commented, in the early days, that he felt he was trying to get membership into an exclusive club of three. He was right, in some ways. But we took a vote and in he came.
Then came three and four. This time, not only was I married and was a for real adult! Which meant I was also for real tired! Honest to God, at 27 having a newborn felt like a completed an Iron Man on a daily basis. At 17 and 19, it was tiring but you just naturally have more energy. Plus balancing school and parenting is difficult but full time employment and parenting is beyond that. Doable but hard. I did, of course, have mat leave, but I definitely noticed a difference between parenting as a student and parenting while working a 40 hour week.
Baby #4 was the end of the road for us but I know our family wouldn't have been complete without him. And so now, I'm the married mother of four! Who would've thunk it? Not me. Who regrets it? Not me either. Sure I'd like to live in a clean home. I'd like to have a flat stomach and pert you-know-whats. I'd even like to go on a vacation with my husband. And someday my home will be clean and someday Ryan and I will go on a holiday but I wouldn't trade any of my "babies" for nothing. Unless you're talking a trip replete with childcare right now. I'd trade them for that. And a strawberry margarita.
Tee hee. Just kidding! To all the moms I do know and don't; married, single, one, two or 12 kids, hope you have the day you deserve!
I've been every kind of mother there is, almost. At least for only being 33. I've been an unwed teen mother, a wed teen mother, a divorced single mother, and now a married mother of four. Quite a gamut if you ask me. Each of those stages of my life had it's ups and downs. Being a teen mother meant that I was judged non-stop by any and all who encountered me. However it also afforded me a beautiful son and the knowledge that no matter what those people thought or said about me or to me, we are more than okay.
Being married the second time I gave birth allowed me respect by hospital staff. The nurses no longer felt the need to treat me like something they found on the bottom of their shoe. That's directed at the Quasi Modo nurse who screamed at me when I was in with Steven. Fucking hunchback bitch. He'll let me know when he's hungry. The kid was nearly 14 1/2 pounds by 2 1/2 months old. Not starving. Anyway, it also gave me the opportunity to be the mommy of a little girl! Yee haw! Dresses and hair-dos. And now a shopping partner, chick movie pal and emotional equivalent of TNT. She never ceases to amaze me though.
Being a single mom was hard, no doubt, but I also didn't have to share them either. Selfish, yes; sorry? No. They were all mine. Sure they went and visited their dad but ultimately they were mine. This didn't necessarily bode well when my now husband came into the mix. He often commented, in the early days, that he felt he was trying to get membership into an exclusive club of three. He was right, in some ways. But we took a vote and in he came.
Then came three and four. This time, not only was I married and was a for real adult! Which meant I was also for real tired! Honest to God, at 27 having a newborn felt like a completed an Iron Man on a daily basis. At 17 and 19, it was tiring but you just naturally have more energy. Plus balancing school and parenting is difficult but full time employment and parenting is beyond that. Doable but hard. I did, of course, have mat leave, but I definitely noticed a difference between parenting as a student and parenting while working a 40 hour week.
Baby #4 was the end of the road for us but I know our family wouldn't have been complete without him. And so now, I'm the married mother of four! Who would've thunk it? Not me. Who regrets it? Not me either. Sure I'd like to live in a clean home. I'd like to have a flat stomach and pert you-know-whats. I'd even like to go on a vacation with my husband. And someday my home will be clean and someday Ryan and I will go on a holiday but I wouldn't trade any of my "babies" for nothing. Unless you're talking a trip replete with childcare right now. I'd trade them for that. And a strawberry margarita.
Tee hee. Just kidding! To all the moms I do know and don't; married, single, one, two or 12 kids, hope you have the day you deserve!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Animal Domination
I think my pets are fucking with me. And really why wouldn't they? I picture them sitting around their shared water dish; to clarify it's shared because I've tried a number of different receptacles for the cats to drink water out of and they will only drink it out of the dog's dish. Anyway, late Friday night after we've all gone to bed I imagine them sitting around the dish and doing stats. Stats such as how many times during that particular week I was able to experience the joy of cleaning up their poop and/or vomit. And bursting into fits of puppy and kitty laughter when they think back to the time I vomited while cleaning up the dog's vomit. The dog's vomit on our less than a week old newly installed carpeting. I'm sure that's a favourite.
Today one of the cats, and I'm pretty sure I know which one, decided it would be extra fun to shit just outside the laundry room door. Which was open. Their litter box is in the laundry room. I had just cleaned it this morning so it was clean as I'm aware of cat's issues with cleanliness. I swear to God she noticed I was doing a fair bit of laundry today and have been all week so thought she'd try and spice it up with me stepping into her poop while doing so.
Think I'm giving my pets too much credit? I don't. These animals have watched me clean up after their bodily functions for nearly nine years (cats) and six years (dog). Why would they not think I am actually a servant of sort?
Same said cat who played the laundry room trick vomited on my bed while I was sleeping in it a few short months ago. Nice.
So why not get rid of them? Because, insane human I am, I like them and particularly enjoy my cats holier than thou attitudes and my dog's incessant good nature and love for cheese.
Sigh. I will carry on bitching about the volumes of dog hair plaguing every inch of this house and article of clothing we own; about the cat puking after what seems like every time she eats; cleaning up poop inside the house and out and then, I will go to Petland and spend $35 for dog treats (that last time appeared to make him sick so he shit on the front carpet again (reference Family Day blog from February) and cat toys that they played with for all of five minutes before ignoring.
I guess this all begs the question of really who is the higher species?
Callie
Melody
Toby
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Good News, At Last!
Hey party people, I've got some good news. Which I think was probably evident from the title, but what's the shame in stating the obvious? I think our society is almost built on this concept.
Anywho, remember about how my husband, and in turn, our family, got royally screwed over by a nearly toothless redneck? Well ta-dah the bastard paid up his fine on Friday! Yay, us! I suppose he was just avoiding court which would've been the next step and he did wait until the last possible moment, but in any event we got the money.
So what have we done with this windfall? Went fucking nuts at Costco. Yes ladies and gentleman we are only a tooth or two away from being rednecks ourselves...two carts and wild abandon in our hearts. At one point my six year old turned around and upon perusing the contents of our overflowing cart, asked: "Are you sure we have enough money for all of this?" He sounded dubious.
Let me tell you, I will not need to buy toilet bowl cleaner, Bounce, Shout or Swiffer refills for a good two months. I also bought a 24 pack of mango juice. That might have been pushing it. My son and I tried the sample though and enjoyed it. After cracking a can of it last night though, I was less sure of my decision to spend $11 on mango juice. Then I added vodka. Yep, still a good purchase.
We have a ready supply of breakfast cereal and Advil Extra-Strength Liqui-Gels. Those little gems are what makes our family's world go round. I could go on and on about our purchases but really it was all good. I even got one of those sweet beach chairs with the short legs and a padded head rest.
Diva, I am not.
So does money buy happiness? Not necessarily but it makes a trip to Costco a hell of a good time!
Anywho, remember about how my husband, and in turn, our family, got royally screwed over by a nearly toothless redneck? Well ta-dah the bastard paid up his fine on Friday! Yay, us! I suppose he was just avoiding court which would've been the next step and he did wait until the last possible moment, but in any event we got the money.
So what have we done with this windfall? Went fucking nuts at Costco. Yes ladies and gentleman we are only a tooth or two away from being rednecks ourselves...two carts and wild abandon in our hearts. At one point my six year old turned around and upon perusing the contents of our overflowing cart, asked: "Are you sure we have enough money for all of this?" He sounded dubious.
Let me tell you, I will not need to buy toilet bowl cleaner, Bounce, Shout or Swiffer refills for a good two months. I also bought a 24 pack of mango juice. That might have been pushing it. My son and I tried the sample though and enjoyed it. After cracking a can of it last night though, I was less sure of my decision to spend $11 on mango juice. Then I added vodka. Yep, still a good purchase.
We have a ready supply of breakfast cereal and Advil Extra-Strength Liqui-Gels. Those little gems are what makes our family's world go round. I could go on and on about our purchases but really it was all good. I even got one of those sweet beach chairs with the short legs and a padded head rest.
Diva, I am not.
So does money buy happiness? Not necessarily but it makes a trip to Costco a hell of a good time!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)