Friday, May 14, 2010

Claire Huxtable can go Screw Herself

Why, you ask, am I hating on the ever-lovely Mrs. Huxtable? Because Claire, despite having five children and what always appeared to be a very busy legal career, always had a spotless home. Yet you never saw Claire in sweat pants bent over the tub scrubbing or better yet on her hands and knees cleaning around the base of her toilet.  Maybe it's because there was only Bill and Theo but I'm sure even they missed sometimes. Or maybe she made them sit down, I don't know.  Either way, it's all LIES.  They didn't have a cleaning lady.  In one episode Claire wore a bigger button down shirt and was dusting their already spotless bedroom. Sometimes Cliff did the dishes.  But did the Huxtable kids ever leave bowls of watermelon rinds in the living room? No sirree!

You know who I liked, Roseanne.  Roseanne's house was a little more the real deal.  Sometimes it was shown messy.  Sometimes Dan and Roseanne fought about who should do what around the house. Dan and Roseanne's kids yelled back at them.  Wait, to clarify, in the pilot episode of The Cosby Show, the house was somewhat untidy.  And that was it.  Roseanne's house was untidy on more than one occasion and Roseanne wore sweatpants.  I will always bond with a woman in sweat pants.

So why am I fixating on popular TV shows of the '80s?  Because there is a current war raging in my household over chores.  I can't take it anymore.  I would like to say I give up and just live in filth but really, who really wants to do that.  I have a hard time relaxing if it's dirty. Don't get me wrong, at any given time, there is at least one or two (six) rooms that are not fit for humans.  There are six of us and three pets.  Get a cleaning lady you say?  I just might.  However it's not going to solve the day to day issues of who does what.  And you know what, I almost don't care anymore.  Maybe if the bathrooms, kitchen and floors are clean I will be able to just suck it up and deal with it.  Maybe.

In the meantime, Apocalypse Now took place in my kitchen/dining room last night and I'd like to thank the neighbours for not calling the police.

And I'd like to thank the Huxtables for not only portraying an African-American family in a positive light but also setting unrealistic and potentially unreachable goals for mother's everywhere.

Assholes.

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